The musings of a juggling mother

Rants & raves about life as a woman today, juggling work, home, kids, family, life the universe & everything.

© Mrs Aginoth. The right of Mrs Aginoth to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents act 1988

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Timeless persuits

Today we had a rest day, and decided to stay at home. It was a beautiful day, so we wandered down to the beach for the afternoon.

it was LMD's first real taste of the beach, and she was very unsure of the feel of the sand on her toes to start with, but soon followed Mstr A & LMB down to the marine lake to dig holes, make castles, splash water & generally get as dirty as possible.

LMB soon stripped off all her clothes & jumped in the water, and even Mstr A was persuaded to take his shirt off and play with some other kids.

The great thing about living in a seaside resort is that nearly everyone else there is on holiday & feeling very relaxed about letting their kids go off and play. The sad thing about living in the seaside resort of weston is that the sand resembles concrete once it is stuck onto you, and the sea is non-existant! Still, who needs the sea when there is water in the boating pool?

We finally dragged them all home for supper, a bath & now to bed - all tuckered out and hopefully slepping till late in the morning:-)

Why spend fortunes going to theme parks, educational hands-on exhibitions and real-life role-plays when they have so much fun & get so healthy just throwing sand around?

Tuesday, May 30, 2006


We went to Paignton Zoo today.

We left at 9.30am and got back at 7.30pm and spent the whole of the intervening time dealing with excited children, walking & making animal noises:-). I'm exhausted!

It's not our closest zoo - Bristol is much closer, and we almost drive past cricket st Thomas wildlife park to get to Paignton, but it is a nice place to visit, and Nanny A & Aggie spent lots of time amusing the kids there while I was working, so I thought it was time I attended too.

LMD thought she was in heaven yelling "Quack quack" at every bird she saw (and pretty much everything else that moved), Mstr A found the monkeys hilarious & became quite interested in the animals habitat spread & read all the info available, which is fantastic. LMB was sad that the giraffes all died recently, but happily ran around behind Mstr A exclaiming at pretty much everything anyway:-)

I'll post some pictures & stuff tomorrow, but for tonight, why not go see my new tenant - The Dogs Breakfast. Panthergirl's blog is colourful, fun and interesting. Again, I'll do a proper review when i am less exhausted, but why not pop over & check it out for yourselves?

Monday, May 29, 2006

There's always more to buy

We went of to Cosmeston Mediaeval Village today. A fantastic place, and one of our favourite days out - although not particularly cheap as we have to pay to get into Wales (greedy Taffs!) and pay an entrance fee as it's not owned by Cadw (we are members & get free entry to English, Welsh & Scottish Heritgae sites), which it really ought to be.

However, today was not just a pleasure trip. There was a big re-enactment event there this weekend, and we needed a couple of bit's and pieces. I really want a butter churn for the kids, and would quite like a quern stone (Mstr A has done this before & is very good at it), and we needed some mor cloth to make various items of clothing. You'd think we could get that anywhere, but no - plain coloured pure woven wool is apparently impossible to find unless you go to a specialist supplier. Our favourite is Bernie the Bolt, who tours most of the re-enctment markets with some fantastic stuff, and he was at Cosmeston this weekend.

So we got there, and went to bernie first. Bought some more linen for shirt & underwear, some nice orange wool for a new dress for me, some irish linen for Aggie to have cool hose (trousers) for the summer, and some grey wool for a kirtle (overdress) for me & the girls as I've been meaning to make one for ages. throw in some braid, and that's £70 gone!

Don't get me wrong, that' a good price. especially as I had my last dress made for me and that cost £100! But still, £70 is a lot of money right now. So we wrote the cheque & wandered off around the site.

They had groups there representing everything from Greek Hoplites, through to Vikings, mediaeval, Tudor & even some riflemen from the 18th century, and every group had their own demonstrations & traders. Aggie thought he was in heaven:-)

We bought Mstr A a proper practise sword. He lost the baby one Aggie made for him when he dropped it in the moat at Caerphilly! He is under strict instructions to take better care of this one as it is being specially made for him! But it is time he started learning swordfighting, and a good wooden sword is an investment - better than sticks that break & are sharp, or "borrowed" metal short swords!

We also picked up a couple of cups for the kids & mugs for us, and new padded jacket for Aggie as he is an archer now not an axeman (it needs a different style of jacket apparently), and a new box to keep all of his leatherworking tools in as the old one was much too small - I get that for my sewing stuff now.

We chatted to lots of people & were recognised by a few - which was nice, then £200 lighter, and still with no butter churn or quirn stone, we headed home to start sewing!

Ah well. Aggie has pomised to sell his old padded jack on ebay, along with his old recurve bow, so that should recover some of the costs. And our Cyser is all nicely finished now too, so we have 14 bottles ready to barter within the group - although we do tend to drink a fair bit of it ourselves, and the ingrediant costs mean that we don't actually make anything on the final product. Still, it's a hobby innit?

Sunday, May 28, 2006


I've just lifted most of our bathroom floor. We thought there was just cheapo self adhesive vinal tiles down, and as the roof has leaked for at least 5 years, they were already coming up at the corners, so i thought it was going to be an easy job.


Under the vinal squares was an expensive piece of padded vinal that appeared to have been stuck down with superglue. It was covered in grime, old rainwater, dead earwigs, and a nice smear of old wee. mmmmm - fragrant! It also killed my stanley knife in just a few cuts, leaving me to resort to brute strength. Yukky & smelly & dirty.

i finally get it all up, only slightly damaging the sink & the bath (which had been put in on top of the flooring), only to find out that the original tiles are still down underneath. I'm not sure what they are made of, or what they are stuck down with, but they are very brittle, don't pull up off the floor easily at all, and leave a nasty black residue behind. They are also covered in that noce mixture of grime, wee, rain & earwigs.

Lots of hot water & bleach later, I have just half the original tiles to do tonight - and they have all dried out now:-) Hopefully tomorrow we can put down the nice new clean tiles we bought, and start using our bathroom again.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Water water everywhere

So the first drought order for 11 years takes effect today in England.

OK, I mean I'm all for conserving water and sensible use and all that, but c'mon people


It's been raining all day. And all night. It was raining all day yesterday. And most of last week. It will be raining all of tomorrow. The drainage ditch for the new houses being built down the road is overflowing. the local river is only millimetres off it's banks. the little stone humpbacked bridge in the old town has less than 3inches of air gap between it's highest point and the water. The pooh sticks wash past quicker than we can run sccross the bridge.

Britain is an Island, completely crisscrossed with rivers, lakes, loch's, ponds, streams, marshes, bogs, and waterfalls. You can barely walk a mile without having to cross water.

I know that an abundance of water does not mean that there is enough clean water, and that the problem is moving the clean water to the population centres, but last year the water company that applied for this order made a profit of £8.8million! Perhaps if they spent some of that on investment, sewerage plants, rainwater conversions, grey water recycling and plugging leaks in their mains pipes it would be better for everyone - except a few fat-cats obviously.

Friday, May 26, 2006

By George, she's got it!

I really think she's got it

At the risk of starting a bodily function theme on my blog...


LMB poo'd in the potty today.


Without any prompting from me.

And she hasn't done any poo's in her nappy either.

I know it's only one day, but I rally think she might finally have grasped the concept


now to teach her to go straight in the toilet;-)


I would just like to say, in defense of my bad mood yesterday:

It can not be normal to poo 8 (EIGHT!!) times in one day at 16 months old!

Add in LMB's 4 stinkies, and the rain:-) and then think of how delightful my day was!

Thursday, May 25, 2006


You know there are some days when it all seems a bit pointless and annoying.

My washing basket is overflowing, but I can't sum up the energy to get on with it. partly because there are already piles of clean clothes waiting to be sorted out and put away, and I have to do that before there is room for any more washing. partly because the weather is shit and everything is damp and cold. Partly becasue it's all going to get dirty again anyway!

The house is pretty messy again too - but tidying sems so much ffort, when I know it will e a mess within minutes anyway. I ought to bite the bullet and just throw loads of stuff out - we're overflowing with kids toys & clothes, most of which aren't currently used & are just taking up space, but you never know when something might be useful......

Mstr A has been horrible at school again, so last night and this morning was spent writing sorry letters! Which means I can not rely on computers/the Tv to babysit for a few minutes while I do something more interesting and have to actually put some effort into bringing up my kids:-(

Did I mention the rain?

And I have to go to the dentist to get a filling, and I can't be bothered to organise it.

LMB is nearly three years old & still refuses to be potty/toilet trained and I'm getting seriously pissed off with clearing up the mess, and equally pissed off with buying her nappies.

I haven't heard anything back about my teacher training course.

The new school looked really good & the headteacher was happy to take on Mstr A even with his problems, and was even willing to implement many of the things his current school refuse to contemplate (ie: time out, a peer buddy etc), but there are two places available from Sept. and three people applying for them, so we won't know until at least July!

I haven't taken the kids swimming for weeks, but it's cold and wet and I don't fancy the two mile walk, which is stunningly lazy, as I really believe that swimming is a vital skill and any parent who neglects to ensure their kids can swim adequately is failing in their duty. Of course, if there was a bus that took us even vaguely near to the pool......

I haven't chased up anything about the idiots at Somerset Splash yet, and I do keep meaning to. I am disgusted that niether MP has even bothered to acknowledge my letter, and still have to find out if they took up th option of an independant risk assessment, and what the outcome was. I ought to get on with it, ecause the longer I leave it, the less likely I am to get any kind of reply, but it all takes time and effort *sigh*

I till have 5 essays to write for my college course.

It's half term next week, so i'll have Mstr A at home all week as well as the girls.

And it's cold & wet, so i can't even dump them in the garden/park/beach.

I haven't had any work for ages:-(


Tuesday, May 23, 2006

I don't know why

For some reason I couldn't get these pictures to load into the last post, so here's a couple more piccies of our trip back to the fourteenth century in Morimondo, Italy.

Mstr A learning how to use his longbow.

He managed to avoid being photgraphed in kit this weekend by virtue of being off, out of camp & doing things all day every day!

LMD, Mistress of all she surveys and mediaeval boss!

How cute can two girls be?

who needs toys?

Bella Italia

Well, we're back - finally. It's been a VERY long weekend, but a good one.

We left home at 9pm on Thursday night. All the kids were sleeping and transfered into the car without stirring, which was great. We drove through the night & met up with the rest of the group half way down the M4 at 11pm, leaving there at midnight, and arriving at Stanstead at about 3am. The long stay parking is MILES away from the airport, so we woke the kids up and waiting in the cold for the bus to take us across to the main airport. It was pretty cold, espeially as the kids were just in Pyjama's:-( Once there & checked in, we settld down to a big breakfast - I'd packed loads of food, and Aggie tried to grab an hour's sleep. Unfortunately, within five minutes the fire alarm went off & continued for nearly half an hour, so no sleep then.

By the time fire alarms and breakfast were finished it was time to move off to the gate, and then fly out. RyanAir is, without doubt, the worst airline I have every flown with - and I've taken package holidays on charter planes and flown Aeroflot in the 90's when they happily booked on "standing room only" passengers! RyanAir have packed on so many seats that they have even had to invent a new brace position, as there is not enough room even for Mstr A to put his head between his knees! The seats also didn't recline even the tiniest bit, so no-one except the kids (who could curl up on the chair) managed any sleep during the 2 hour flight to Milan:-( We arrived at 9.30am and were whisked off by coach to the campsite.

By the time we got ourselves & our stuff unpacked at the campsite, it was just about midday, so like proper English people, we proceeded to start to set up camp in the midday sun:-) Aggie got the tent up while I fed the kids more packed lunch, then I sorted out the inside while he grabbed some food. By mid-afternoon, we were pretty knackered! Everyone else crashed out, but we have kids, and they'd all slept through the night & wanted to play, so we were denied the luxuary of sleep, and spent the afternoon playing, chatting & watching the more sensible Europeans set up camp after their siesta.

It was interesting seeing the groups from different countries. I'd say we had more authentic clothing and skills, but they had some fantastic furniture. And lots of groovy weapons:-) It was very strange not being able to talk to the public - i usually spend most of my days talking & explaining stuff, but it did mean we got loads done - I managed to sew a new shirt for Mstr A, a Linen dress for myself, and to fix up the girls linen dresses. Aggie made a load of leather goods, and did some archery practise. he even fought in the battles (the first evening we had a night fight at 10pm, then daytime bttles on Sat & Sun). LMD thought he was absolutely hilrious dressed up in battle gear & giggled every time she saw him:-)

The site was open to the public 24 hours a day, and they came at all hours too, which was wierd. We were the only group with proper minstrels, and you really started to understand why bards were so highly prized in mediaeval times when they provided nearly all the entertainment! I seem to have volunteered to be a musician/story teller for future events which will make anyone who knows me fall over themselves laughing as it is well known that i can not sing a note!

We were actually really lucky with the weather - it was beautifully warm, but not too hot, and slightly overcast. Mstr A got a little bit sunburned on his neck (I did keep putting his hat on, but he kept "forgetting" it!), but the rest of us were fine. It was slightly marred by the fact that me & Aggie had a throat infection all weekend, but we survived on lots of paracetemol & determination:-)

Mstr A tried out his new longbow & took really well to archery. Even managing the self discipline when it went wrong! The girsl were oo'ed and ahh'ed over constantly - the Italians love children. Poor LMD was poked & stroked & prodded and picked up wherever she went! Although I know virtually no Italian, it soon became pretty obvious what "Bella Bambina" meant. I think her photo will appear in many 1000's of albums over the next few days;-)

Like all these events, the children stayed awake throughout the daylight hours, so it was early mornings and late nights for us while we were there, then the return trip was slightly worse than the one out there, causing another sleepless night for us. We decided not to even try & drive back home in that state, and instead nipped down the M11 to my mothers house for some kip. She was happy to see us, & I stole some warmer clothes for me & the girls from my sister, which was good, as I hadn't packed any, and it as freezing cold, raining & foggy when we landed:-( Bring back summer!

We've just made it home, and I've loads of catching up to do. I'll post some more photo's and info asap.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Alton Towers

So we did (eventually) get a good nights sleep - but hardly a lie in as breakfast was at 7.45, and we're just rubbish at staying in bed past 7 now. but 7am is good:-)

A nice cooked breakfast - no black pudding though - what is the North coming to?! Then off to Alton Towers. In the rain & the fog & the cold on a Monday morning in the middles of term time/exams. Ideal conditions really - although it doesn't sound it - but it meant that when the gates opened at 9.30m, we were two of maybe two dozen people there, and could go straight on to all the big rides. you know, the ones that had 2 hour waiting times last time we went on a summers Saturday a couple of years ago.

We tried Nemesis first. Fantastic. We sat on the second row, and it was amazing. I was right on the edge & I could almost feel the rocks & trees my feet dangled just millimetres from as we whizzed around at mumble mph. In fact, it was so good, we went back & did it again in the front row! Even better! If you go, brave the front row queue (we had to wait 36 seconds!!!). It's a totally different experience. Gush gush:-)

Then we nipped straight on to Air. Aggie liked this one best, but I thought it came second place. There were still no queues as we wandered over to Hex, which wasn't as good as it could have been imo - i had a much better idea of what to do with it *grin*, then proceeded to another high adrenalin ride, Enterprise, which Aggie remembered from his youth. I think it should have sa=tayed in his memories really - not very much fun. especially as Aggie had a hypo immediately afterwards from all the adrenalin!

Still, one thing there is no shortage of in a theme park is sugar, so a chocolate bar & some doughnuts later, we calmed down on Duel (where Aggie beat me mercilessly, but didn't quite succeed in his aim of getting double my score), and the water rides: The Rapids & the updated Flume (well, we were pretty soaked by then anyway from the rain, so it seemed a good time to get wet).

That covered the majority of the big rides, and the longest queue had been a couple of minutes. Rain is sometimes wonderful:-) After a warming lunch, the park was starting to fill up, so we tried the new Charlie & the Chocolate Factory ride - which did have a good 30 min wait (boo hiss). It is certainly an improvement on the Toyland boat trip that was there before, & Tunnel of Love that preceeded that (wow I'm old!). Then tried to lose our lunch again by going on Oblivion. well cool! Aggies got some pictures & video on his blog if you want to see the vertical drop & hear the screams. It was the only one that made me scream, so i guess it gets the thumbs up for that.

we finished off with a nice wander around the gardens, and I got to go on ripsaw & get completely soaked some more. Again, video on aggies blog. He refused to go on. The water was freezing, but it was a brilliant ride. It's a toss up between that and nemesis for my favourite really.

By then it was nearly 4pm, the rain had (finally) stopped, and the park was getting pretty busy, so we called it a day, and headed home, which meant we got back just in time to see the kids before they went to bed, and to let Nanny A escape before it got too late;-)

It was a great day, although pretty exhausting. So maybe next year we'll go with my suggestion of a relaxing spa/adults only hotel;-)

We're back

Ooops, I've been a bad blogger again & missed a couple of days, but it's been a busy, exhausting, but fun-packed few days!

The Anniversary treat was great - we left just before lunchtime on Sunday, and took a slow leisurely drive up north, stopping at Stafford for a relaxing cofee in front of a lake, watching the ducks without haveing to yell at the kids to leave them alone/don't chase them/yes they are ducks/go quack quack/no we don't have any bread....... and made it to the B&B an hour early, just about 3pm.

However, as we were the only guests, it wasn't a problem, and we went up to our nice, quiet room & promptly both crashed out on the bed:-)

mmmmm, a Sunday Afternoon nap - I remember when those were common:-)

By the time we woke up, it was getting on, so we went off to find some supper. There were a couple of resturants recommended in the B&B, so we chose one that sounded good, and drove into the "historic market town" of Cheadle. Damn that place was dull. Nowhere to park, but not really a problem as there was no reason to park there! The Brasserie had closed down & become a Kebab take away, which was a bit annoying, so we ended up eating in the Chinese place, as it was the only one with tables & chairs! Actually the food was really good, and I'd recommend the Golden Rose to anyone stuck in Cheadle, but it wasn't really what I'd planned. Oh well.

After that we took a slow stroll back to the car, stopping to admire an extremely phallic statue in the middle of the high st & discuss what it might be, as there was no signage.

Then we stopped in an off licence for a corkscrew - as we'd remembered to bring our own wine, but had no way of opening it! - and headed back to the quiet B&B.

It was a shame there was no-one else there really, but it did mean we got to sit downstairs, drink our wine - although the corkscrew broke before it opened the first bottle! HUH!, and watch BBC's Hannibal on the big(ish) TV in the guests lounge.

Like true re-enactors we sat there commenting on the clothes, scenery, furniture & fights - the plot was pretty seconday really LOL. However, either way, it was a very good film. Much, much, much, much better than the much hyped Rome earlier this year.

Then, filled with wine, and contented with historical conversation, we stumbled up to our nice, quiet, four poster bed, in the secure knowledge that we could sleep through the night without being disturbed by children:-)

Sunday, May 14, 2006

We're off1

And finally, the big day has come - it's 11am, I've sorted all the kids out, I've cooked dinner for tonight & tomorrow, I've tidied the house, I've made up the spare bed, I've cleaned & left out winter & summer clothes for three kids for two days, i've made our packed lunch, i've packed my bag - minus sexy lingerie:-0 and now it's time to depart.

36 hours childfree.


I'm going to sleep, drink alcohal & behave immaturely:-) I'll tell you all about it when we get back.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

On a lighter note...

I bought a new bra yesterday.

Yes this is an Event! My life is that depressing.

Yipee - they are finally getting smaller again:-) I can now buy bra's off the shelf from every day shops.

Only the nasty grandma type ones obviously. I wanted a pretty set of lingerie for our dirty weekend away, but that was not to be:-( But still, shrinkage is shrinkage. After three pregnancies where they grew EACH TIME (and they weren't exactly minute to start with) I am thankful for any reduction.

Although my ribs have not contracted at all, which is really depressing. Back in 2000 I was a nice 36C - a "good handful" as a previous boyfriend once commented, and certainly a good enough size to flaunt when I wanted , but carry on with normal life, exercise and the occasional strapless top. Mstr A added 4 inches to my rib-cage & the two girls expanded them another inch each. And that's where I still am today. I guess losing some weight might help a bit *sigh* I've been saying that I should do so for ages, but haven't actually succeeded at all:-(

But I'm well happy that they have shrunk down from something scary half way up the alphabet back to a D cup. I shall ty to use this as the incentive to get back on my diet.

After the weekend away;-)

Friday, May 12, 2006

Pushy parents

so we had Mstr A's paeds appointment today. By being pushy parents and asking the GP to refer him rather than waiting for the school or ed psychs to get round to it probably saved a year of "watching & waiting", which was good:-)

We couldn't have asked him to demonstrate his quirky behaviour better: He started by playing happily with the train set while we chatted to Doc. Within minutes he'd discovered a specific piece was missing & became very concerned that he wouldn't be able to play any more. Doc tried to reason with him a bit, explaining that he could set it up differently, or make it with other pieces, but he didn't understand that at all. Fortunately that crisis was avoided when the piece was found & he continued playing.

The next problem arose when LMB (who was playing with the kitchen set next to him) started treading on his ever expanding train set. He completely flipped and ran off to hide under the bed in the corner! Crisis avoided by moving the train tracks over a bit! Happy Mstr A re-appeared and started playing again.

Then he had to actually do some stuff for her. No problem, he drew the shapes requested & started answering her questions about school. halfway through a sentance saying what he liked about school he switched to discussing the vinegar bottle at home! And would not continue with the school discussion until he'd finished & recieved an answer about vinegar!

At the end, Doc agreed that he was definitely not "normal":-) and also seemed to agree with our choice of school and desire to move him from where he is now. She suggested we refer him to speech & language (which really ought to called "communication" as there is nothing wrong with his spech or language skills!), which I have already got in the pipeline through the school, then once we have met with his new head teacher next week, we will all (school, us, doc, speech people & ed Psych's) meet up again to discuss strategies and management techniques.

Whopee! I hope it all works out like that:-)

Thursday, May 11, 2006


Just a bit of an update on how things are going really, cos it seems like ages since I've put it all down.

Mstr A - hmmm, he's very variable atm. He's quite keen on the new school idea, & has settled down a fair bit in the last couple of days. More sleep may have helped, as has his teacher finally accepting that he needs visual reminders to do his work & giving him a place mat to remnd him to get on with whatever he's suposed to be doing. I've also told him that he has to get a good report from his old school to get a place in the new one;-)

I spoke to the headteacher at his current school yesterday. It's a horrible thing to do, and I did wimp out a little by discussing the religious bit first. I still do think it was wrong not to inform prospective parents that the school was leaving LA control and being funded & controlled directly by the church. I also pointed out that both last year & this years teacher had commented that it was a particularly difficult class - its 2/3 boys, and has a high number of special needs, so it's not the best environment for Mstr A to learn acceptable behaviour. The new school has a two class intake, and smaller class sizes. it also has large and varied sports facilities, which i think would help Mstr a (I would, it's my job to think that, but all the same, i do....). I pointed out that Mrs D, his class teacher, has been very receptive & helpful as much as she can, and that our decision to move him was not a reflection on her. i didn't mention it was partly a reflection on some of the other staff there. it seemed a bit pointless really.

He's also settled back to normal at home. I think last weeks tantrums were just tiredness thankfully. We're going to have to try & work out a way for him to get more sleep when we are away though!

LMB - oh goody, she has reached the "why" stage *sigh*. With the turn in the weather, i have been properly potty training her this week. She's done two full days out of nappies, both with one accident (although today's was less than a minute after a failed toilet run!). she is happy to use the potty, our toilet or a toilet she knows for wee's, but not a strange one, and no poo's in the toilet yet - even though we bribe her with the promise of sweeties (hey, it worked for Mstr A, and it only happens for the first week or so).

she is also really looking forward to going to "school" next term. I hope I find her a place in a nice one soon! She can recite the alphabet, recognise proably half the letters and write C (her initial), so I guess she's not nearly as blond as she seemed to be when she was younger. She's really creative and loves all kinds of artistic, musical & imagination things - Mstr a never did much of any of that. She also has the funniest way of saying some things as she parrots back not only the words, but the intonation, to extremes.

her legs are finally starting to straighten out too, so we're having less falling over, and more willingness to walk (well, run) places. She looks so slim & gorgeous in her summer clothes & without a nappy - she's going to be a real heart breaker I reckon:-)

LMD - well, she's just getting more vocal & more stubborn & more independant with each passing day. She loves walking, although it's very, very, slow! Especially as she likes to stop and poke every stone, puddle, insect, flower etc that we go past. She also loves animals, and can woof, quack, moo & meow - mostly at the right animals too! everyone is called "DAD!" atm, which is annoying LMB no end:-) Although she can actually say mum, LMB & Mstr A (kind of), she's just too lazy. She still eats more than LMB, and still won't drink any kind of milk (grrrr), although loves yoghurts/fromage frais, so it can't be an actual physical intolerance.

Aggie - his skin is still ostly clear - just a few spots starting to show up now. his blood tests have been coming back OK - not great, but OK, so atm it seems as if the current drugs are doing good. He's been working flat out for the past few weeks, and I'm a crappy wife as by the time he gets home I'm fed up with the kids and want a break, so expect him to help out rather than relax by playing computer games all night. But we've got a couple of long weekends lined up now, so hopefully he get a chance to rejuvenate then.

Me - I'm just trundelling along really. No idea where I'm going, or even where I want to go. I made it through the local elections without even a twinge for my brother - the first time ever, although we weren't voting here, so that might have helped. looking forward to having two whole days off on Sunday/Monday. only a couple of essays behind on my law course - which is good for me:-) And pleased the sun is shining - one of the great things about living in a holiday town is when the weather is good & everyone is out on the beach etc, it always makes me feel like I'm on holiday too. I also have far more incentive to go and do stuff when its warm & sunny. I wonder if thats because it's so rare, or just a natural reaction?

My new tenant

I have a new tenant - Fidget with her blog called finding yourself despite yourself. I know exactly what she means:-)

Her blog is a varied selection of personal diary, thoughts & comments, and fun pictures and meme's. A bit like mine, but not as depressing:-) Well worth a click - especially as her latest post tells you how to go off ever eating chocolate again, which would probably benifit most of us!

She updates it pretty much daily, so go have a nose around & let her know I sent you.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006


When I started this blog, it was for the catharsis of complaining about stuff I couldn't really change. this is one of those posts. I recommend skipping it and sticking to the diary type posts if you don't want to see me as a miserable, ungrateful whinger who doesn't appreciate what she's got.

I just want Mstr A to be normal. What is normal? I don't know, but I do know he's not. I can't explain to myself, let alone to others what I feel for him. he is my first born. My only son. The baby I knew I would never have. I love the girls completely, but i guess it's in a different way to how I love Mstr A - he is the child that completely changed my life, turned me into something i had never considered myself to be, or to be able to be. He is my gift to Aggie, who so wanted to be a father, but still stayed with me knowing he would never achieve it. He is my miracle baby - and the fact that that turned out to be completely untrue, does not change the emotions associated with him. the girls were additions. Nice additions. Wanted additions. But additions. Mstr A was unexpected, unlooked for and ill-timed, but he was never an addition - he was a complete U-turn in my life.

And of course i had considered, in theory, what i would want for my kids. All children do - when i have kids I will never.... When I'm a mother, I will always...... And even knowing that I wouldn't have any of my own, I formed strong opinions from working with children all my life. I never wanted my child to be great, talented, a genius, stupid, disabled, famous, infamous or notable in any way. All I wanted was for him to be normal & happy (doesn't every parent?)

I wanted to be sure his time at school would be remembered fondly - a little above average intelligence, a nice group of friends, good relationships with his teachers. I wanted him to join many different groups, clubs & activities, learn a bit about a lot of things, make a lot of friends, have a good time. I wanted him to feel safe, loved and understood at home. I wanted, at the end of the day, for him to be able to say "you did a good job mum, I had a happy childhood".

He has none of that - and I feel that I have been short changed! I don't want to be a pushy mother. I don't want to be someone whose life is ruled by their children. I don't want to make special arrangements for every thing he does. i don't want to be the mother listening in as other parents complain about my child's behaviour. i don't want to have to explain everything he does & I do for him. I don't want to have to argue my corner everywhere we go & with everyone we meet. I just want him to get on with it - and he can't.

I expected him to be popping round to friends houses after school by now. But he has few friends, and none that allow him to "pop in". few that allow visits at all - he hasn't been invited to a single birthday party in over a year - even though we invite the whole class to his. I thought he'd be an active member of half a dozen different groups, societies, clubs by now. He doesn't attend any other than one at his school. I expected that I'd be able to tell him what to do & know that it would be done (on most occasions), but I have to stand there & remind him every two minutes if I want a job completed.

And in the darkest hours, I wonder what i did wrong. I didn't want to be pregnant. I didn't want to be a mum. I didn't want a boy. and I know it's stupid, but still i wonder.

And I cry, for all the wonderful things that he will never have/understand.

And I cry, for the mother i want to be, but can't be.

And when he cuddles me, as he does, like a little baby still & I tell him that I love him more than any other boy in the world, it's true. I love him so much it hurts. But I still feel cheated. i want my beautiful, clever, loving, unusual little boy to be normal too.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Good news

Things are moving forward for Mstr A - which is good because the school seems to have gotten bored ofd oing most of the things requested - such as tapping him on the shoulder to get his attention, or giving him time reminders that his work needs to done. Their current policy seems to be: if he doesn't listen, send him to another class so that you don't have to watch him not do any work!

Anyway, he has his referral to the peadiatrican on friday morning, we have a meeting with the other school's head on the 18th and they are increasing their numbers by two per year next year, and mstr A is the first applicant for year 2, so hoefully a place is available.

The pre-school i went to visit today for LMB to start in sept was just awful, so I'm hunting again, but new school has a pre-school attached, so i think I'll try them next:-)

The observant of you will have noticed that I have a new tenant. Please go & check her out if you have a moment. I will do a proper review tomorrow I hope.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

There's something not right in the world

Aggie's watching Top Gear. I'm chatting on the phone with my sister. I put down the phone in time to hear that the car they are test driving costs £415,000

My house cost £83,000

5 people live in it.

It's been here for over 100 years, and I confidently expect it to still be here in another hundred or two.

£415,000 for a car?

There is something very wrong with the world

And with the people willing to spend that sort of money on a car!

Money, money, money

We've been car-booting today. I packed the car with as much junk as I could find lying around last night, then stupidly stayed up till midnight to watch the first two episodes of season 2 of Lost, then managed to heave myself out of bed bright and early at 5am!

By the time I'd sorted out clothes & food for everyone, packed the three kids into the car & worried about what vital thing we'd left behind, it was 6, but we still got a good spot on the field & unloaded loads of stuff onto a couple of tressle tables.

Aggie managed to sell a couple of computer games almost immediately - and for a decent price (last time we went to a car boot sale he sold our three best items within minutes for a £1-00 each!!!), and as time wqent on I managed to offload a high chair, push chair, a load of toys & a few clothes. All in all, we made a good £100 profit - even after p[aying for the pitch, some ice-creams and a few jugs for re-enactment:-)

Hopefully it will cover most of the cost of our weekend away next week.

Oh yes, we're off to Alton Towers - just me & Aggie, for our 7 year anniversary. No kids - it'll be the first time we've been away without them, and we've got ourselves a B&B in a four-poster in a beautiful 16th centurary farmhouse.

I'm already fantasising about sleep.....

It's been a fantastic day - the sun shone - I got a little bit sunburned (I'm definitely getting old *sigh*, I used to sit in the sun all day without even going a bit pink), the kids were nearly well behaved, and we came home with less than we started with.

Good news all round:-)

Saturday, May 06, 2006

My wants & needs

I did this one ages ago, when I had just started blogging & had forgotten all about it until Aggie put it up on his blog again the other day:-)

He did his on Aginoth, and I did my last one on my real name, so here's my new wants & needs as Mrs A:

How to play: Go to a search engine of your choice (I used yahoo this time), and type in "(your name) needs" then pick out the first 10 (or your favourite 10) to put on your blog. Do the same with wants. You'll be amazed at what comes up - even with quite unusual names:-)

Mrs A needs a 4 bed house in the countryside with a pool ...(you betcha!)

Mrs A needs 2 people to assist with personal hygiene (well, I wouldn't mind a couple of cute young men......)

Mrs A needs to think very carefully about a possible level of hostility (who me? incite hostility? never!)

Mrs. A. needs a little rubber button for her grand lid (do what?)

Mrs. A needs support (umm, yeah:-) )

Mrs. A needs help for some acupuncture treatments from a very awesome acupuncturist (depends hw awsome I suppose, but I don't really fancy having needles stuck in me)

Mrs. A needs to see a new therapist (or indeed, any therapist!)

Mrs. A needs to toughen up ... (can I get any tougher?)

Mrs. A needs an Ethics Consult (ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha)

Mrs A needs £100,000 (no argument on this one)

Mrs A wants an equal division of the assets ... (yep, what his is mine & what's mine is mine....)

Mrs A wants a shout out (that's what blogging's for:-) )

Mrs. A wants to give the patrons one last chance (before I spread the story over the media!)

Mrs. A. wants to leave her room to buy some nachos (not really)

Mrs. A wants me to tell you all that "we are doing this in flowers", (ooh err missus!)

Mrs. A wants to share commissions (share? Share! don't talk dirty!)

Mrs. A. wants to make a substantial gift to the College (yeah, my great intellect *grin*)

Mrs. A wants to help her friend (of course)

Mrs. A. wants me to stay with her through the month of April ...(no, no, no, no, no, no, no!)

mrs a wants to know if you can come this saturday to help (all help appreciated)

Friday, May 05, 2006

All tuckered out

I'm sure that at least some of Mstr A's problems stem from the fact that he is too tired. This has been the worst week he's had at school for some time, and today was worse than ever. He refused to do any of his work for his class teacher, or in a one-to-one with the classroom assistant (which he usually likes) or even for the headmaster (who all 5 year olds are terrified of, surely?), and it follows a busy weekend away, where he gets less sleep than usual.

When I brought him home today, I insisted he did his schoolwork at home & set him to it, with a picture and narrative of his day, to be followed up by some maths, science & spanish. After a bit of a tussle, he did get on with his English, then had a break for supper. As soon as he finished supper he claimed he was too tired to do any maths (his favourite subject), so i offered a choice of either doing his work or going to bed for the night.

He chose to go to bed. At 5.15pm!

I went to check on him 30 mins later and he is fast asleep.

But I'm not sure what I can do. He is always in bed by 7pm, and sleeps through till 7am. He sometimes gets up about 6.30am, but not too often. That's 12 hours sleep a night. I could probably sqeeze in an extra 30 mins in the morning, but I don't think he'd take them during the summer. I can't really send him to bed any earlier & still pretend he's getting any kind of personal life. The school day runs from 8.45am-3.20/4pm There's no time for a nap around those times really (4-5pm? but would he still go to bed at 7 then?), and no opportunity at school!

I'll see how he is next week after a relaxing weekend, but I'm not sure there even is a solution:-(

It's summer!

The sun is shining, the tempreture is way up at "warm", the birds are singing & the children are playing (nearly) naked in the garden. It's summer time! I know that it's a bit early, but this is the second warm day in a row, and that's pretty unusual here, so i'm taking any summer i can get:-)

Today i have taken Mstr A to school, taken the car to have new brakes:-(, Painted the shed (it was supposed to be done last year, but.....), Fixed up the garden swing seat, weeded the play area, tried to cut the grass (it's too long for the mower - oops, and the strimmer has run out of wire), cleaned the kitchen (Nanny A did it yesterday, so there wasn't too much - but still, I did do it), made the supper (shepherds pie, yum), run the dishwasher twice, washed & dried two sets of clothes, written a list of the things I want to buy in Argos when we get the car back this evening (I know, but it is cheap!), checked all my fave blogs and played with the girls in the garden.

I love summer:-)

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Wish me luck

It's my Law exam this afternoon.

It's multiple choice (but deliberately written to deceive - bastards!), and just a straight pass/fail. I need 16 out of 40 to pass and have got 31, 32, 34 on my mocks, so I'm not too worried, but still - this is the real thing!

The butterflies are just settling into my tummy now:-)

UPDATE: Been there, done that. Fairly certain I passed:-) I had to argue with the invigilator to be let out before the full hour (it took me 7.5 mins to complete the exam - including reading through. After another 20 minutes I'd had enoughof looking at the bare walls!).

Now if I can just finish the last six essay's, and tidy up the two that are almost done, i'll be all ready to start next years course:-)

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

ooh ooh, i'm a winner!

Wow, i tried this blogOlympics thingy over at CQ's palace, and guess what? I gotta gold medal!

Woo Hoo - first attempt & I'm brilliant. Shame I don't really understand what it's all about, but it was nice:-)

i don't really go in for all that pimping my blog lark, I can't be bothered, I don't have the time, and after my one foray into Blog explosion and the revolting results, I don't have the inclination, but it's nice to know that people can find it if they come looking - it's only because of the regular comments & feedback that I keep it going - otherwise I'm sure I'd lose interest very quickly - as I have with all the paper journals I've ever kept.

So thanks to all my readers for coming visiting & to all the writers of other blogs who give me somewhere to spout off & give myself a bad name - fame is good, but infamy is infinitely better than obscurity:-)

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Five going on fifteen?

Mstr A is pushing the bounderies. He's pushing them very hard:-( In fact his behaviour is starting to strongly resemble teenage rebellion.

His teacher came to speak to me today when I collected him from school. He had not done any of the work he'd been asked to and had been "quite cheeky" to her - in a way that she had never seen from him before.

so he was in disgrace as soon as he got home, and it degenerated from there. When I asked him how he had behaved at school, he told me he had been good & done all of his work. I told him I would not accept him lying to me & asked again. he tried to lie again, then on threat of his gameboy being binned, admitted that he had been naughty. We sent him to his room for 30 mins, which is our usual punishment for lying.

When he came down, he apologised for lying, and all was quiet for 5 mins, until Aggie asked him to clear the table & tidy up for supper (this is one of his daily chores) he refused, saying he didn't want to. After a bit of argy-bargy, Aggie sent him back to his room.

i left it 10 mins, but then went up to bring him down for supper, as he really does need to eat if we want any hope of reasonable behaviour out of him. He was allowed down on the condition that he tidied up the moment he finished eating. so as soon as he finished, i asked him to tidy up. He picked up two pieces of paper, then LMB picked one up (she has to help tidy), and he threw a screaming hissy fit that he hadn't picked up that piece, chucked everything back on the floor & just lay down screaming & kicking.

So once again I sent him to his room, but this time I told him he was to go to bed. I went up 15 mins later to find him hiding under his bed! Pulled him out, took his clothes off (admist great protests) & gave him his pyjama's, and told him to go to bed. Then I went back downstairs.

next I hear a great thumping and bumping, and go up to find all of his toys, furniture, bedclothes etc thrown around the room/down the stairs. He has been warned about throwing things around before, so i took a black bin bag up & started throwing all of his toys into them. I took a whole bag full away & told him to tidy up the rest if he wants to keep it.

That's where we are now.

His tantrums have definitely been getting worse recently. i don't know what is causing it:-( I know that he is probably tired today, but that's no excuse for his behaviour today. I have o admit, there was some shouting involved on my part. it's hard not to. Time out in his room used to work well, but it's no good if he is going to break everything in the room - and probably himself soon, either deliberately or accidently. Anyone got any helpful idea's on what to do next?

Where there's smoke....

there's coughing!

I am so glad I live in a technological culture in the 21st century! The weather was chilly in Wales over the weekend - and we need a fire for the soap making & cooking demo's anyway, so I feel like a 50-a-day smoker right now!

The best thing about leaving 1370 behind and returning to the 21st century? Being clean! Warm showers and baths are a luxuary. Daily cleansing is a really modern concept - and I miss it when I'm away:-)

Anyway, we had a good weekend. I will post some pictures I promise - when I have uploaded them. Aggies done his already, so go check them out there. I managed to finish LMB's woolen dress, so all the kids had warm(ish) clothes to wear fortunately. It stayed dry most of the time, but was dull & cold & threatening to rain throughout, so the crowds were small:-( But enough to keep us busy - I still didn't get to see much of the castle!

LMD had more comments and fingers pointing at her than is good for a child. She soon learned to look up & smile at any adult who said she was cute in her dress! She also discovered that heaven is a bowl full of fruit available to be eaten on-stop throughout the day. I was not so keen on the reult from the other end of her body! But at least it kept her out of trouble.

Mstr A discovered the company Dr has sons a couple of years older than him & spent the day playing with them - sword-fighting outside & gameboy's while hiding in the tent!

We've got a couple of weeks off now, before going to Italy later in May. That should be fun (and warm), although i can't speak any Italian, so i'm not quite sure what i'm going to do all day - other than parade the kids around i suppose:-) Looking forward to it though.