The musings of a juggling mother

Rants & raves about life as a woman today, juggling work, home, kids, family, life the universe & everything.

© Mrs Aginoth. The right of Mrs Aginoth to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents act 1988

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Five going on fifteen?

Mstr A is pushing the bounderies. He's pushing them very hard:-( In fact his behaviour is starting to strongly resemble teenage rebellion.

His teacher came to speak to me today when I collected him from school. He had not done any of the work he'd been asked to and had been "quite cheeky" to her - in a way that she had never seen from him before.

so he was in disgrace as soon as he got home, and it degenerated from there. When I asked him how he had behaved at school, he told me he had been good & done all of his work. I told him I would not accept him lying to me & asked again. he tried to lie again, then on threat of his gameboy being binned, admitted that he had been naughty. We sent him to his room for 30 mins, which is our usual punishment for lying.

When he came down, he apologised for lying, and all was quiet for 5 mins, until Aggie asked him to clear the table & tidy up for supper (this is one of his daily chores) he refused, saying he didn't want to. After a bit of argy-bargy, Aggie sent him back to his room.

i left it 10 mins, but then went up to bring him down for supper, as he really does need to eat if we want any hope of reasonable behaviour out of him. He was allowed down on the condition that he tidied up the moment he finished eating. so as soon as he finished, i asked him to tidy up. He picked up two pieces of paper, then LMB picked one up (she has to help tidy), and he threw a screaming hissy fit that he hadn't picked up that piece, chucked everything back on the floor & just lay down screaming & kicking.

So once again I sent him to his room, but this time I told him he was to go to bed. I went up 15 mins later to find him hiding under his bed! Pulled him out, took his clothes off (admist great protests) & gave him his pyjama's, and told him to go to bed. Then I went back downstairs.

next I hear a great thumping and bumping, and go up to find all of his toys, furniture, bedclothes etc thrown around the room/down the stairs. He has been warned about throwing things around before, so i took a black bin bag up & started throwing all of his toys into them. I took a whole bag full away & told him to tidy up the rest if he wants to keep it.

That's where we are now.

His tantrums have definitely been getting worse recently. i don't know what is causing it:-( I know that he is probably tired today, but that's no excuse for his behaviour today. I have o admit, there was some shouting involved on my part. it's hard not to. Time out in his room used to work well, but it's no good if he is going to break everything in the room - and probably himself soon, either deliberately or accidently. Anyone got any helpful idea's on what to do next?


  • At Tuesday, May 02, 2006 7:22:00 pm, Anonymous smiffykins said…

    considering his perhaps asd diagnosis have u thought about looking at diet. the latest thought is the gfcf diet which i'm sure uv come across quite a few children i know have tried it to amazing success. it has improved their sleep pattern, regulated their mood and made them more interested in the world around them.
    other than that at least he is being neuro typical even if a few years early!

  • At Tuesday, May 02, 2006 7:51:00 pm, Blogger Juggling Mother said…

    Thanks smiffy - I haven't tried gfcf - it's such hard work, and hasn't seemed necessary really. We did look at some foody things - additives, sugar, omega3 etc, but only in as much as kids should be fed a good nutrinially balanced diet anyway - I've had some nutrition training and I'm not too convinced about most of the food/diet fads around atm. I may have to try some of the more radical diets if nothing else works.

    I was feeling kinda smug that he wasn't showing any of the violent or out or control tendencies common among aspies:-(

    He's got his paeds referral on the 12th May, so I'll see what happens there, and between now & then.

  • At Tuesday, May 02, 2006 9:44:00 pm, Blogger Dave said…

    Fortunately we never had to cope with anything like this with our three and I wouldn't dream of telling you how to sort out your children as I know next to nothing about them. The only tip I can give is that whatever you decide be consistent with the child and consistent with all the children.
    Good luck.

  • At Tuesday, May 02, 2006 10:01:00 pm, Blogger Vancouver Voyeur said…

    Oh I feel for you, and yes, it is exactly like a teenager. My 14 yr old last week, mouthed off to the teacher, which he'd never done before in his life. Then proceeded to mouth off to me. Got angry, yelling, etc. He's now lost all electronica (game boys, computers, t.v.). His poor behavior continued into this week so I went to speak to the school counselor. Apparently he's fearful of moving on to high school with the much bigger, stronger and more aggressive males. We're working on dealing with these fears. There might be something frightening in your child's environment too or just something that he's been worrying about. It never hurts to check. Hopefully he was just tired.

  • At Wednesday, May 03, 2006 4:13:00 am, Blogger Barbara said…

    I hope things improve!

    Thanks for playing in the Blog Olympics Training Camp, Congratulations on your gold medal! First time playing! I've posted the overall standings.

  • At Wednesday, May 03, 2006 8:38:00 am, Blogger OldOldLady Of The Hills said…

    I'm sorry there is a behavioral problem..I am totally ignorant in regard to anything to do with children and trying to figure out what to do with a problem such as this. I dearly hope you are able to find a solution...this sounds like a very difficult situation. I don't envy you, my dear. Sorry I am of no help here.

  • At Wednesday, May 03, 2006 5:10:00 pm, Blogger Stephen (aka Q) said…

    I don't know enough about Asperger's to offer an informed opinion. What I do know is, you can't control someone else's behaviour. You can only try to motivate them to control their own behaviour. And it sounds like you're taking the right sort of steps: giving him opportunities to comply, and enforcing consequences when he doesn't.

  • At Thursday, May 04, 2006 11:01:00 am, Anonymous Bored accountant said…

    Looking at your earlier post, have you considered that he's bored stiff at school. If that combines with being hungry then he'll not be motivated and probably disrepectful.
    That behaviour will then continue at home unless you find a good way of dealing with it.
    I'm not an expert, but I strongly feel that this post ties in with you're earlier post about the school last Thursday.

  • At Friday, May 05, 2006 10:20:00 am, Blogger spindleshanks said…

    i agree with bored accountant - again, i hardly dare comment as I don't know you or him but when my son (who is normally easy going and obliging) was having problems at school (and nothing dramatic, just bored, unhappy with teacher, not adequately stimulated) it affected his behaviour dramatically at home. he didn't throw tantrums but he did become surly and unresponsive. the giveaway for me was he changed back to his normal cheerful self as soon as the holidays started. when i changed schools, the problem resolved itself immediately. i think the feelings that come up in school have an overwhelming effect on kids and they don't have the language (vocab or emotional) to articulate how they feel so it has to come out in other ways.
    I hope you all manage to find a way through. Good luck.

  • At Friday, May 05, 2006 3:21:00 pm, Blogger debambam said…

    I get this with Zoe occassionally, and all I can put it down to is 'she's having a bad day.' When it does happen I get to write me a letter telling me why she's acting so different to what she usually does, it makes her think about it..and occupies her! She usually doesn't know why, but the very act of thinking about it combined with the diversion is usually enough to stop it in its tracks...
    Hows it all going now by the way? I'm a few days late to the party here :)

  • At Friday, May 05, 2006 5:42:00 pm, Blogger Juggling Mother said…

    Sadly, although he's back to his normal, slitghtly tantrumy self at home, he is getting worse at school:-( Just refusing to do nything anyone asks him to. I'm hoping to do an observation on him in school soon & see where to go from there.

  • At Friday, May 05, 2006 7:30:00 pm, Blogger Kitty said…

    My only advice is to always follow through on whatever you tell them the punishment will be. I've lost count of the number of times I've heard a parent tell a child to 'stop that or else/do that again and I'll...(insert consequences here)' only to see the child not stop or do it again and the parent not follow through. Way to enforce discipline *not*


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