The musings of a juggling mother

Rants & raves about life as a woman today, juggling work, home, kids, family, life the universe & everything.

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Monday, December 19, 2005

Advice please

So, since we're STILL waiting for the official Psych report onMstr A to be written up, I thought I'd tap into the all knowing blogosphere for some advice.

Remember, I reckon Mstr A has mild Asbergers, although it's possible that the Psychologist may come back and say he's just very emotionally/socially behind.

One of the things he really dislikes is change to something he has got used to - he's not a real stickler for routine, but he doesn't like things changing. An example would be his "wake up, shape up" sessions before school. He absolutely adored doing it at first, then after a term, they changed the song/routine. he refused to join in again until he had learned every note & move by heart (every other child just copied the lead teacher). Last week they changed the music to a Christmas song (keeping the same routine), and so he's refused to participate again.

So the question I would like to ask is this: Should I help him adapt by encouraging him to learn the new routine - watching, practising at home, buying the music etc, or should I help him get over his fear of change by encouraging him to try the new thing immediately with all the other chidren & not pandering to him?

Oh, and before you go, don't forget to check out my tenant's blog "Stumbling Through Life". You can count it as your good deed of the day. Be nice & click on her picture over there on my sidebar.


  • At Monday, December 19, 2005 9:26:00 am, Blogger Dave said…

    My gut feeling, and it's no more than that, is to try and encourage him to accept the change and not to pander to him.

  • At Monday, December 19, 2005 1:44:00 pm, Anonymous smiffykins said…

    if and it sounds as tho he is on the autistc spectrum he prob won't ever cope well with change but he has to get used to it so i would do both. encourage him to join in with the others but also make it easier for him to adjust by telling him change is going to happen and why it is going to happen. most people with asd like to know why and can also only cope with one instruction at a time so trying to pick it all up at once is prob throwing him completly and expecting too much of him. maybe try teaching him one bit at a time and encourage him to do the first bit and learn the new parts gradually. reassuring him about the bits that are the same so he can feel a bit reassured. sorry not very comprehensive let me know if u want anymore info.

  • At Monday, December 19, 2005 5:11:00 pm, Blogger Kyahgirl said…

    I don't have any advice specific to the issue.

    Just from one Mom to another, lots of hugs and support. Its hard on all you when things don't go as planned/expected.


  • At Monday, December 19, 2005 5:13:00 pm, Blogger Mama! Mama! (Mel) said…

    I agree with smiffykins. My son has a similar issue. You definiately need to help him prepare. He will never be able to be just thrown in to something and deal with it. You are not pandering to him by helping him prepare. You are teaching him how to cope. How to adjust according to his personality and function in other circumstances where he faces change. It may be a frustrating process, but it will show the greatest payoff in the end.

  • At Monday, December 19, 2005 6:19:00 pm, Blogger craziequeen said…

    I'm with smiffykins and mama! mama! on this - encourage him to embrace the change, while being sure to prepare him in advance. Maybe the school should warn parents if they are planning to change a well-known routine - most children are thrown by change anyway.


  • At Monday, December 19, 2005 6:28:00 pm, Blogger Juggling Mother said…

    Thanks everyone. I have been doing a mixture of the two & then suddenly got panicy that I was giving him mixed messages!

    The school did warn us that they were changing the music/routine at the end of last term. I think they just decided to put a Xmas song on for fun & didn't consider it a change last week as the routine stayed the same:-)

    Oh well, a lovely Christmas getting ready for the new one they will be doing next term I suppose. Sometimes I wonder about my decision to only ave one TV in the house - it means I have to watch endless repeats of the video of 5 & year olds doing rubbish aerobics to crappy 80's pop songs!


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