Super?
The other day at work, someone called me superwoman. some rubish about me working full time, studying, bringing up three kids and looking after a disabled husband.... OK, when they put it like that, it sounds pretty impressive:-)
But i don't feel like superwoman. Mostly I feel like I'm not quite doing anything as well as I could/should/want to. I really miss having any quality time with the kids during the week. As nice as it is to have them yell "Mummy Mummy" when I get through the door each evening, and they come running up for a hug, I don't know how long it will last, and I want to be able to have more to do with my kids than a quick hug, ask them about their day and send them to bed. I miss being involved in their day. And they miss it too. All of them have asked when I am going to do something or other again.
But then again, when I'm at work I feel that I'm not really giving it my all - before the kids turned up my career was the major thing in my life, and I happily went above and beyond. Now work is something I do, but it gets in the way of life, and so I do not put in all that extra time and effort that I used to. I work hard at work, and do everything to the best of my ability, and I may even, occsionally work some of my lunch break (I never could get the whole hour for lunch thing), but I arrive 5 mins before start time, and leave the moment I can. In a culture of early starts and late finishes I know that i am not going to progress through the ranks quickly this time round. I suppose it doesn't help that I am not doing a subject i feel particularly bothered about. I put more effort in my last job where I could feel that my effort was worthwhile in the grand scheme of things.....
And of course, as nice as it is when my tutor compliments my essays, i also know that i am not putting in nearly as much studying as I ought to. If i did, I could get that distinction in my exams as well as in my homework, but studying has to fit in around everything else, and I tend to work on the basis that just enough is good enough.
I know the house has never been my top priority, but even so, now I'm working full time and commuting too, there isn't even the time to do the little bit I used to do each day. I have tried to explain to Aggie how to keep a house, but he doesn't seem to have grasped much of it:-) Plus, tbh, there is a fair bit he physically can not do. And that makes me feel bad that I'm not being very fair to him, because I need him to take over much of the household stuff, and I know he can't always do it - but it always needs to be done! So I get annoyed when it's not:-(
Why is life so complicated? Of course, I know the solution - I would really like to drop back down to part time, and in a subject that i feel is worthwhile. And preferably somewhere pretty close to home. But that solution is not available at the moment. Ho hum.
Oh well, here's a funny funny video stolen shaemlessly fro my brother. it made me laugh out loud, so I thought I'd put it here to cheer everyone p after my moan.
Super!
But i don't feel like superwoman. Mostly I feel like I'm not quite doing anything as well as I could/should/want to. I really miss having any quality time with the kids during the week. As nice as it is to have them yell "Mummy Mummy" when I get through the door each evening, and they come running up for a hug, I don't know how long it will last, and I want to be able to have more to do with my kids than a quick hug, ask them about their day and send them to bed. I miss being involved in their day. And they miss it too. All of them have asked when I am going to do something or other again.
But then again, when I'm at work I feel that I'm not really giving it my all - before the kids turned up my career was the major thing in my life, and I happily went above and beyond. Now work is something I do, but it gets in the way of life, and so I do not put in all that extra time and effort that I used to. I work hard at work, and do everything to the best of my ability, and I may even, occsionally work some of my lunch break (I never could get the whole hour for lunch thing), but I arrive 5 mins before start time, and leave the moment I can. In a culture of early starts and late finishes I know that i am not going to progress through the ranks quickly this time round. I suppose it doesn't help that I am not doing a subject i feel particularly bothered about. I put more effort in my last job where I could feel that my effort was worthwhile in the grand scheme of things.....
And of course, as nice as it is when my tutor compliments my essays, i also know that i am not putting in nearly as much studying as I ought to. If i did, I could get that distinction in my exams as well as in my homework, but studying has to fit in around everything else, and I tend to work on the basis that just enough is good enough.
I know the house has never been my top priority, but even so, now I'm working full time and commuting too, there isn't even the time to do the little bit I used to do each day. I have tried to explain to Aggie how to keep a house, but he doesn't seem to have grasped much of it:-) Plus, tbh, there is a fair bit he physically can not do. And that makes me feel bad that I'm not being very fair to him, because I need him to take over much of the household stuff, and I know he can't always do it - but it always needs to be done! So I get annoyed when it's not:-(
Why is life so complicated? Of course, I know the solution - I would really like to drop back down to part time, and in a subject that i feel is worthwhile. And preferably somewhere pretty close to home. But that solution is not available at the moment. Ho hum.
Oh well, here's a funny funny video stolen shaemlessly fro my brother. it made me laugh out loud, so I thought I'd put it here to cheer everyone p after my moan.
Super!
posted by Juggling Mother @ 9:37 pm
1 Comments:
At Saturday, March 08, 2008 12:10:00 am,
Anonymous said…
you really are a juggling mum now.
I know it can get to you when someone is at home and you think i would have done this or I could have done that if I was at home. But you have to be more forgiving that the rest of us. you just have to be more orginzed about it than you wish. as the children get older then you can get them to help more.
As for working more hours than you are contacted to, companies have got used to it far to much and they must remember that we work to live and not live to work.
keep your chin up.
Weaver
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