Maybe if the hours weren't so long it would've been better, but it's not just that I haven't had any time to see the kids, or even that I'm too knackered to do much in the evenings. It's that I don't have the time or ability to do all the things that I want to do to be the person I want to be. I miss having decent meals every day - not cooking them particularly;-) but having them to eat & knowing the kids are getting decent food each day. I really miss having the direct contact with mstr A's school & daily contact with his teacher. I went in to see him this morning after Mstr A shouted "bad" word at another pupil (he called him a dickhead *snigger*, I have no idea where he heard it, but I've heard worse come out of 6 year olds mouths personally! still, it's the principle....) and mentioned to him that I'll be back dropping off & picking up from January. he agreed that it was much better when I was there & had daily contact - especially as Mstr A is not able to cope with the totally free play before & after school. I miss having time to do the weekly shop properly, and to spend time with the girls. I miss having the time and energy to do things with Mstr A in the evenings. I miss surfing the net during the day:-)
Of course, i'm sure I'll be climbing the walls within a couple of weeks and looking for work again:-) But I have decided it's ot the right time to go back to full time work. I've given up planning for the future, as the future seems to have plans of it's own - but I don't even know what I want to to! It's nice to able to plan things again for anytime, without worrying about leave, work days etc. And not worrying about school holidays which were starting to prey on my mind. But then again - I'm not sure if we're going to survive financially. Not that we were surviving financially on the wage I was getting, but at least there was the hope that it would go up at some point!
Now I just have to ty to persuade the nursery to reduce the girls hours in a couple of weeks without charging me. I know that they actually ask for a months notice - but i know that from when Mstr A went there a few years ago. Come to think of it - they also failed to give me any contracts, hadbooks or details of their terms & conditions when I started there in september!