Completely fucked!

I am completely fucked - I've been battling a cough kindly donated by cousin G last weekend, and woke up this morning with a throat that felt larger than my stomch (and that's large!), a miserable croak instead of my usual strident shouting voice, and a drop in my blood pressure just enough to make those pretty spots turn up every time I moved my head more than a few degree's!

I successfully fed, cleaned & dressed all the kids in plenty of time for school & loaded the girls into the trailer thing. I left 30 mins to get to school - cos I just did't know how well behaved Mstr A would be. He's good at cycling straight, but if he has to stop, he can be a nightmare to get started again! Fortunately there were no problems & we arrived at school 15 mins early!

I unpack the girls, find his classroom, give a quick debrief on importnat thigs to remember (personal space, follow the rules, listen to others etc), have a very quick chat with teacher & hand over Ed Psych report & Paediatrician report, and last years school report, and wave goodbye.

Pack the girls back into the trailer. Cycle back, via the shops to pick up some food for tonight, and get home to very wobbly legs and a phone full of answerphone messages.

We are completely fucked financially. Aggie has just been paid & we are already up to our borrowing limits. I spend the next hour on the phone begging the bank to be nice, the supermarket to still deliver our months food tonight and the college to let me start my course anyway & pay by installments.

Aggie is all caught up with the idea of being self sufficient (ish) again (we've discussed it before) and is planning platforms for water butts, vegetable patches & chicken runs in the garden. I sent out loads of "on spec" applications to local solicitors. And a real job application. It's not that I don't like the self sufficient idea, just that I know it will take a year at least to see any real benifits and what I really want to do costs money up front! Anyone got a few spare solar panals/windmill hanging around? Getting a job won't necessarily make any difference to our true finances, as all my pay will go on childcare costs, but it will make our creditors much happier & more willing to lend us enough to get through the next few years. Come 2009, all the kids will be in school & our outgoings will drastically reduce - i hope!

After sorting that lot out, I took the kids up to Tuesday playgroup - the first one after the summer break. I thought we'd be grown up & walk there, and happily watched as both girls went running up the road. By the time we were three quarters of the way up our street LMD was being crried because she had just stopped moving. Once over the first junction I had both girls clinging on to me. Tuesday playgroup is at the top of a very big hill!

They played nicely - I ate plenty of free toast:-) Then I carried them home again! There was barely time for lunch, LMD nap & LMB learning time, before I was packing them back in the trailer & back to school to collect Mstr A.

He had a good day apparently:-) He came out with a big grin. Teacher was fairly happy - only a couple of niggles. a number of children said goodbye to him as we stuttered our way back home on the bikes through the crowds.

Once home, there was a whole 10 minutes spare to feed all the kids a nutritious snack, get Mstr A changed, and zoom back out to drop Aggie off at a hospital appt and Mstr A to his 1st gymnastics lesson. LMB was very upset that she couldn't join in. I had to promise that i would take her to a pre-school class later in the week. Oh goody - more cycling!

Get Mstr A signed in, settled down & sorted out. Try (unsuccessfully) to explain his foibles to his coach. fuck it, she can work it out as she goes along. I told them he should go in the 4-6 age group, but they insisted he goes into the 6-9 year olds. On their head be it! Once warm-up is finished and he seems to be OK, I take the girls back to the hospital to collect daddy, then return for Mstr A.

We finally make it home at 6.30pm - which is the girls bedtime. I start making supper! We eat supper, change & wash the kids & pack them into their respective rooms. LMB is trying her first night nappyless. Oh joy, oh rapture. I foresee much waking during the next few nights!

Now i get to sit down, just for a few minutes before getting on with the washing & tidying that didn't really get done today.

And then I can do it all again tomorrow, but with a few extra bits added in!

Michelle has got a question up on her blog - would you give up 2 years of your life if you could fulfill all of your personal, financial, spiritual and professional ambitions. Fuck yes! My life is just one stress after another right now. In fact, I would say it is completely fucked!