The musings of a juggling mother

Rants & raves about life as a woman today, juggling work, home, kids, family, life the universe & everything.

© Mrs Aginoth. The right of Mrs Aginoth to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents act 1988

Monday, August 07, 2006

Home again

It's nice to be home - especially as nanny A came round while we were away & tidied it all up for us;-)

The week in London went remarkably well - Mstr A & my mother got on quite well, with no arguments or even uneccesary dicipline from my mum. Mstr A still did some of the things that drove her so wild last yera, but either:
  • she's mellowed,
  • she's accepted he's a boy and sometimes they are boisterous,
  • she's accepted that he's not "normal" and perhps her version of discipline won't work too well, or
  • she's just got deafer and more self absorbed & didn't notice so much.

I don't know which one, or if it was a combination, but it was a well behaved and quiet week all round.

We went off to a music session on Thursday morning. Open to 2-6 year olds, there was a guitarists/singer & a drummer, who tried to encourage the kids to sing a bit, play a bit, learn a bit etc. Mstr A was entranced, and was right at the front as soon as it started, being the first to volunteer to assist the leader, the loudest at answering questions, and the most exuberant dancer. I'm starting to revise my posible Asberger diagnosis, as that doesn't fit at all. Asbie kids rarely join in & never put themselves forwards to demonstrate a new thing. They are too concerned about what others will think. Mstr A seemed to be completely oblivious that the other children were there, and behaved as though the whole thing was just him and the leader - doing the bits he wanted as loudly and continously as he wanted, then, when they danced the conga (which he wasn't interested in) he just sat on the floor and played with some bells, oblivious to the other children trampling all around him!

The girls both loved it too. LMB adores the musicians at re-enactment and just assumed this was an extension of that, and LMD copies everything that Mstr A does:-) Cousin G wasn't so keen, and hid in her mummy's lap for ages before finally being convinced to sit with LMB, which is weird really as she goes to nursery every day, and always takes the lead when she and LMB are playing.

We went to a few other places. the only interesting one was my BiL's birthday party on Saturday night. Aggie wasn't feeling very sociable cos of his psoriasis, plus he doesn't get the whole london drugs scene, so i went on my own. It was nice to get out and just be me for a night without worrying at all - I knew Aggie could cope however horrible they were:-) It was amazing to see so many people I left behind half a lifetime ago. All still doing the same things, although mostly with different partners;-) I had a good moan to my sister about life, and she agreed it was unfair:-) I watched too many people pass out and heard about how many of the old "gang" were now dead. Most are in their early 40's!! I remembered how easy it is to get hold of expensive drugs in London, and how often they are passsed around - and baffled everyone by saying that when we moved to Weston 5 years ago we never bothered to find a dealer, so couldn't get anything anymore even if we wanted. This naturally resulted in a flurry of offers:-) But I have to say for them, there was never any pressure, not then and not now, when I refused. I'm not morally against most of the drugs being handed out there, but i had to get up early to take my mother to a car boot sale, I had to drive home, and I had to be responsible for three kids. And the party was dominated by the death of F a couple of weeks ago. She weighed less than 5 stone when she died at 41 years old. T died a few years ago, from an OD. he wasn't even found for three weeks. He was 36. They nearly all have kids with partners that they never see, except for the ones that have kids they never see. It was all a bit sad and false when I was 17. Now it's just depressing watching them all! It was a good reminder of why i dislike London so much, and really don't want to bring my kids up there. I still don't understand why so many people do!


  • At Monday, August 07, 2006 7:52:00 pm, Blogger Emily said…

    Hi JM

    Glad you survived and had fun to boot! I know what you mean about London. I lived all over the city for seven years and left when I got pregnant in 2003. I was at the point where I'd had enough of the grime, the tube and the grotbags lurking on every corner. I love being by the sea and wouldn't swap it.

    We do have a good time when we go there and visit our mates but I am glad I am not bringing a kid up there too.

  • At Monday, August 07, 2006 8:31:00 pm, Blogger Vancouver Voyeur said…

    I love your comment about your mother just becoming deafer. I think that's what has mellowed my mum too. :-)

    As for the London drug scene, I have no problem with what people do to themselves, as long as they don't carry it too far and become a liability on the community. When it comes to being a parent, however, I do have a problem with people taking drugs and risking their lives. To me, that's selfish when you have children depending on you. I might be a tad prudish since I've never done drugs, my friends have, but like yours, they never pressured me when I said no. They knew all about my family of addicts and overdoses, so I'd only ever known the seriously ugly side of drugs. Drugs have never been fun or glamourous for me.

  • At Tuesday, August 08, 2006 7:40:00 am, Blogger Tim Hedrow said…

    Do tell how one gets a nanny to tidy up while one travels?

  • At Tuesday, August 08, 2006 11:05:00 am, Blogger Juggling Mother said…

    It requires a MiL that you trust enough to give your keys, and who likes cleaning and uses it to destress (weird huh!), plus who is in the process of moving house so has no cleaning of her own left to do, but still needs the destressing:-)

  • At Tuesday, August 08, 2006 12:18:00 pm, Blogger RCA said…

    I'm moving - reckon I can get her to clean my house???? (kidding Nanny A, don't hurt me!!!!)

    (And I'm moving to London, but not for the drug scene!)

    Seriously, glad your mother was much better and she and Mst A got on alright.

    As for diagnosis - do you have another appointment with the child psychiatrist??

  • At Tuesday, August 08, 2006 12:28:00 pm, Blogger Emily said…

    erm can you miL come to Kent? Particularly around October when my baby is due and the house will be chaos?!

  • At Tuesday, August 08, 2006 4:03:00 pm, Blogger debambam said…

    LOL @ your comments re your mum! My grandmother seemed to change overnight and got all mellow too...we gave up trying to figure out why and just enjoyed her house that was now a HOME rather than the MUSEUM it used to be..
    Glad you got a night out on your own, and that it reminded you that while life is hard sometimes, it's YOUR life and it could be a LOT worse but for the choices you've made...

  • At Friday, August 11, 2006 11:26:00 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    That's a little bit disingenuous though. You seem to have forgotten to mention that F died following a ten-year battle with cancer. I'm sure that it's purely coincidence that the sentences before and after both mention drugs.

  • At Friday, August 11, 2006 11:32:00 am, Blogger Juggling Mother said…

    Hi anon. I guessed you still read every now & then:-) It was mostly about the fact that people seem to be dieing. I know I'm getting old, but not that old!


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