The musings of a juggling mother

Rants & raves about life as a woman today, juggling work, home, kids, family, life the universe & everything.

© Mrs Aginoth. The right of Mrs Aginoth to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents act 1988

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Using my brain

I've been off doing real work today. A short 1st aid course for a club over in Swindon. Nice place, easy course (although it was a slow one this time!), happy me. I really love my self-employed work. I feel I am really doing something useful, I enjoy it, I'm good at it (well, all my evaluation forms seem to think so), and it pays loads more than the shite my employer grudgingly hands out each month!

Aggie was left home alone with all three kids. He's not usually very goos at coping with all three, but it seems he managed admirably today. They were all fed, washed & the older two in bed by the time I arrived home. LMD just needed feeding, then she went down too. I dropped another feed this weekend, so she's just on one evening feed a day now, making life much easier. I'll have her off the breast by a year:-)

In other news, I bet these were researched by men!

The guardian says that having a baby increases your brain power. Memory skills increase during pregnancy? Having kids makes you vigilant & alert? Yeah, sure. As long as the baby comes with it's own nanny, chef, chauffeur, maid & laundry! Otherwise you are too ****ing tired to know if it's morning or yesterday.

The Telegraph has a much more likely story: Having children is bad for your mental health. No! Parents are more likely to feel depressed than childless people. Duh, do you think maybe that would be because we have to consider others before making any decisions. Or in other words, parents often find themselves having to do something they would not personally have chosen to do - therefore playing tug-of-war with their own minds all the time.

My mother told me years ago that having children means going to bed feeling guilty every night.

I never wanted any, being much too self centred.

I was right.

Can I give them back now?

No, of course I don't mean it. I love them to bits. I wouldn't want anything to happen to them, and I definitely would not want to lose them. But I wouldn't have minded the doctors being right either. A childless life could have been more fun!


  • At Sunday, January 15, 2006 9:33:00 pm, Blogger craziequeen said…

    More fun?? What could be more fun than Aggie sick, Jnr pogoing around the room, LMB shrieking and LMD screaming? :-) Could you *have* any more fun? [apologies to Chandler from Friends!]

    I think research is hilarious, contradictory and always quickly overturned :-)


  • At Sunday, January 15, 2006 9:35:00 pm, Anonymous smiffykins said…

    apparently u also lose brain cells when pregnant? i wonder how many children b4 some people are in minus numbers?!

  • At Sunday, January 15, 2006 9:37:00 pm, Blogger Juggling Mother said…

    I sometimes wonder what the other me is doing though. you know, the one I "expected" to be! I'd love to know if she's doing well, is happy and healthy, and feels satisfied with life. I hope not;-)

  • At Sunday, January 15, 2006 11:10:00 pm, Blogger mig bardsley said…

    Tug of war...Oh yes. I remember that. And depression and guilt and discovering that far from being a mature, intelligent young woman I was still a selfish, spoilt, lazy, incompetant brat.
    Over the years they pay you back for absolutely everything. the good, the bad, the ugly and the astonishingly wonderful.

  • At Monday, January 16, 2006 2:45:00 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Ha. You're not encouraging me to keep on the path to adoption that we've started... Neither myself nor my husband wanted children either, then suddenly last year we both changed our minds. I think they put something in the water.

    I've learned in the past that nothing provides better birth control than parents. ;-)

    - Pie

  • At Monday, January 16, 2006 7:41:00 am, Blogger Juggling Mother said…

    Smiffykins - sorry I was writing my comment when you commented, so i missed it:-) My Dr certainly told me the stupidity/absent mindedness/forgetfulness/lack of concentration etc I felt when I was preggers was because of all the brain cells the hormones were killing off. He said it would take up to 5 years to grow them back! I certinly still don't feel as "bright" now as I did last millenium before the kids appeared - but it could be due to sleep deprivation now!

    MB - I always knew I was too selfish & too disorganised to be a mum. I never bothered to try to change, bcause I couldn't have kids anyway! Now they just have to put up with me being selfish & disorganised, but I feel bad about it:-( I'm looking forward to having grown up children. I'm sure there will be fantastic once they've left home;-)

    Pie - The problem is, you feel bad if you do & you feel bad if you don't:-) Although at last with adoption you know what you're getting. And the sleep deprivation doesn't start until they arrive! There are the good bits too. Go read Aggies blog - it's got a happy parenting post on it:-)

  • At Monday, January 16, 2006 6:13:00 pm, Blogger Vancouver Voyeur said…

    Losing brain cells during pregnancy? I didn't know that. Though the only time in my life I ever had a moment of amnesia was when I was pregnant. I was in the checkout line at the grocery store and all of a sudden, didn't know who I was or what I was doing. I remember looking down at the name on my checkbook and trying to understand what was going on. It only lasted a minute, but freaked me out so badly I went straight to the doctor. I would also be interested in finding out how many people "forget" their babies during the first few weeks after childbirth. I "forgot" I had a baby when I got back into my regular routine and headed out to the car to go shopping, only to sit in the car for a few minutes thinking I'd forgot something, said "oh well," put the car in gear, then hit the brakes as I remembered I had a child and she was still in the house in her car seat waiting for me. My doctor said it was the hormones, my neighbor joked it was because I'm blonde. Thankfully I haven't forgotten them since. Approaching the end of the teen years with them and looking forward to the empty nest! :-)

  • At Monday, January 16, 2006 8:39:00 pm, Blogger Kyahgirl said…

    yup, its not always easy. there are lots of days when I wish I could just run away and have some time to myself. But, they are a joy too. Hard to imagine life without them now.

  • At Monday, January 16, 2006 10:16:00 pm, Blogger Stephen (aka Q) said…

    Otherwise you are too ****ing tired to know if it's morning or yesterday.


  • At Tuesday, January 17, 2006 6:31:00 pm, Blogger OldOldLady Of The Hills said…

    LOL, LOL...I love your Mother's comment...very funny and I'm sure, truer than true! I think parenthood is the most awesome job there could ever be! I admire you and so many parents, more than I can say. I sure can understand though that there might be times when you think..."I wonder what my life would have been like without them?" I sometimes have the reverse...what would my life have been like with children...VERY VERY different, that's for sure. (lol)


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