Thanks sis!
I had a lovely long chat to sister S on the phone.
I moaned about being a SAHM, and that it sooo wasn't what I'd ever imagined myself doing.
She enthused over getting a first in her Occupational Therapy degree, getting a new job - exactly the one she wanted, at a grade above what she expected, and that her boyfriend has (finally) got a job and she's expecting the first paycheque to arrive any minute.
Then she pointed out that my mother should be pleased. At last, nearly all of her children are pretty sorted out, and settled into proper lives. Except me. I'm the only one who has no idea what I'm doing, where I'm going, or how I'm going to afford to get there.
All my life, I've been the one who knew where I was going (out of London quite alot of the time) and what I wanted out of life. I was the first to get a decent job. I was the first to leave London. I was the first to get a degree. I was the first to buy a house with my partner. I was the first to have kids. I am the first to chuck it all in.
Thanks sis!
I moaned about being a SAHM, and that it sooo wasn't what I'd ever imagined myself doing.
She enthused over getting a first in her Occupational Therapy degree, getting a new job - exactly the one she wanted, at a grade above what she expected, and that her boyfriend has (finally) got a job and she's expecting the first paycheque to arrive any minute.
Then she pointed out that my mother should be pleased. At last, nearly all of her children are pretty sorted out, and settled into proper lives. Except me. I'm the only one who has no idea what I'm doing, where I'm going, or how I'm going to afford to get there.
All my life, I've been the one who knew where I was going (out of London quite alot of the time) and what I wanted out of life. I was the first to get a decent job. I was the first to leave London. I was the first to get a degree. I was the first to buy a house with my partner. I was the first to have kids. I am the first to chuck it all in.
Thanks sis!
posted by Juggling Mother @ 8:47 pm
6 Comments:
At Saturday, February 25, 2006 5:20:00 pm,
Sadie Lou said…
Did she actually say that to you? Sheesh.
At Saturday, February 25, 2006 7:27:00 pm,
Juggling Mother said…
She didn't mean it like that. She was saying that she had been the one that was messed up for so long, and now she's finally got herself sorted out (mostly), and despite every attempt otherwise, my brother & sister seemed to be settled into jobs they like, with long term partners, and no major financial worries, and now it was my turn as it were;-)
it just kinda sounded bad!
At Saturday, February 25, 2006 11:01:00 pm,
chosha said…
That was a bit insensitive, but probably she was just not thinking - siblings are like that.
Anyway, you "haven't chucked it all in". You actually had me a bit worried when I first read that. I'm new to your blog and had to scroll back to reassure myself that you really hadn't chucked in the job, the house, the partner AND the kids. Whew!
Changing career is just a choice. Humans live a long time - and we live longer than the generations before us - and the days of doing one job our whole lives are long gone. NO-ONE really knows what a particular career or other kind of life path will be like until they are already doing it, so choosing a path you will be happy on forever is luck, not skill. Even if you make the perfect choice first up, there's no reason to stick with it forever. WE change, don't we? Why shouldn't our lives change with us?
Enjoy this transitional phase. Your mother should indeed be pleased. ALL of her children are pursuing happiness. Part of that pursuit is the checkpoints we reach, which is where your sister is at now. Part of it is the exploration, the decision-making, the learning, and that's where you're at. And these things are not linear. Your sister will do more searching and changing down the track, even if she keeps that job and loves it.
At Saturday, February 25, 2006 11:03:00 pm,
chosha said…
Wow that came out a little more 'philosophical' than planned. o_O
At Sunday, February 26, 2006 6:46:00 am,
Juggling Mother said…
Hi Chosha - she did mean it in a good way. My mother gave up work the day she discovered she was pregnant & didn't go back until the last one had left home at least five years previously, so she actually totally approves of me not workig (although I don't think she really understands the different financial situation nowadays).
It was just me who put that spin on her words, because, having been told I'd never have kids, I'd always envisioned myself working, in a career, and even when they came along i didn't "chose" to be SAHM out of personal preference.
At Sunday, February 26, 2006 10:51:00 am,
chosha said…
Yeah actually I posted my comment and THEN realised that the comment above was from you. But that clarifies it even more. My little sister dropped out of school (for sheer laziness and rebellion, too!!) and ended up working as a checkout chick for several years. A few years back she got lucky and someone recognised her smarts and offered to train her in property management. Down the track a little she's now started working for the Dept of Housing in Sydney and keeps getting promoted because she's just that good at her job. In maybe four years she has gone from being a casual at a supermarket to a project manager earning around $25k more than me per year. (I'm the college graduate.)
Half of me is organising a ticker tape parade for her, and the other half is sighing and feeling like a total loser. *sheepish laughter* Terrible, isn't it?!
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