The musings of a juggling mother

Rants & raves about life as a woman today, juggling work, home, kids, family, life the universe & everything.

© Mrs Aginoth. The right of Mrs Aginoth to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents act 1988

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Moo Moo & Bloody moo

WARNING: Anyone who doesn't want to hear about bodily functions & how motherhood ruins your life (sex-life, social-life, fashion-life, work-life & just life-life) miss out this post.

Breast feeding is S**T. Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for it, and in fact I am a militant breastfeeder. All my babies have been/will be fed for exactly one year (here in Brit-land employers have to allow you to feed for a year & I'm damn well going to squeeze every last day out of them). I know it does really good things for both mother & baby. I know it's the most natural thing in the world. I know that bottled milk is missing most of the vital ingrediants that human beings need. I know that I'm beating breast cancer every time I feed my baby. I know that anyone who has a problem with seeing me breastfeed is stupid & bigoted. I know that I'm way too disorganised to take bottles, teats, sterilisers, milk powder etc with me when I go anywhere. I know that bottle fed babies puke more, and that it smells worse. I know that they are fatter. I know that they poo more & that its smellier. But no-body told me I was going to be a cow for five years!

When I went into hospital to have my first child, my mother gave me a dozen disposable breast pads, and told me I'd "probably need them for the first few days until my milk settles down". This was the first inkling I'd had that breast-feeding wasn't the simple, sanitary & sensible process I'd thought of.

Well that dozen pads lasted me about one day once my milk came in. Apperently I am a F****ing cow. Science tells us that your body produces as much milk as the baby needs, but whereas there are a few people who really don't produce enough, I am one who could feed half of the known world. i wouldn't mind if it was just for a few days, but LM Dark A is nearly 7 months old now & I still haven't got any kind of handle on the leakage problem. She's eating three meals a day of real food & I still dribble while watching TV! There's not a lot ickier than having a nice relaxing bath, only to look down after 10 mins to see it's turned an opaque white colour. Yick - into the shower to ensure I don't stink of gone off milk all over! And I can definitely think of more interesting ways of getting a wet patch on the bed! Although come to think of it, that's how I got into this situation in the first place.......

15 Comments:

  • At Tuesday, August 23, 2005 10:04:00 pm, Blogger craziequeen said…

    You could express it, bottle it and sell it? :-)

    but seriously folkses, although I admire and totally sympathise with breastfeeding mothers (Mrs A is my third!) I would take all that discomfort and 'leakage' to be able to breastfeed my own child.

    As an afterthought - there was a short item on a Discovery programme the other night about men being able to breastfeed....Aginoth???? :-)

     
  • At Tuesday, August 23, 2005 10:17:00 pm, Blogger Juggling Mother said…

    Ahh, in the olden days you could indeed express it, bottle it & sell it(or at least give it away) to milk banks, where they gave it to pre-term babes & those who couldn't do it themselves for some sensible reason.

    Now we have AIDS & bodily fluids are nolonger interchangeable. & I just cant be bothered to express it & chuck it down the sink, plus it makes the problem worse in the long run.

     
  • At Tuesday, August 23, 2005 10:33:00 pm, Blogger Aginoth said…

    ewwwwwww CQ

     
  • At Tuesday, August 23, 2005 10:39:00 pm, Blogger Wyndham said…

    Mrs Triffid breast-fed for a similiar length of time but a friend of ours is still breast-feeding her little girl after two-and-half years and has no intention of stopping, seemingly. Her breasts must be down past her knees by now!

    Thanks for the link by the way!

     
  • At Tuesday, August 23, 2005 10:39:00 pm, Blogger craziequeen said…

    Scared yet, Aggie?? :-)

     
  • At Tuesday, August 23, 2005 10:45:00 pm, Blogger Juggling Mother said…

    One year dead. It's enough for their health, & to P off my employers.

    Of course WHO say two years, but I reckon thats for the majority of the world who can't feed them fresh fruit & veg every day.

     
  • At Tuesday, August 23, 2005 10:46:00 pm, Blogger craziequeen said…

    a site for Aggie to look at.....

    http://www.unhinderedliving.com/nursingfather.html

    I just googled 'can men breastfeed?'

    [chuckle]

     
  • At Tuesday, August 23, 2005 11:07:00 pm, Blogger Mary P. said…

    Wow. I nursed all three of mine for a little over a year each, but never suffered through that. I remember being in awe of my sister-in-law one Christmas. She headed into the bathroom with an empty bottle, and came out not five minutes later with an eight-ounce bottle.

    "Did you mix the formula with tap water?" asked me, surprised and innocent.

    No, she'd pumped it. Eight ounces. In LESS THAN FIVE MINUTES!! I always had what my babies needed, but I couldn't pump to save my life. Twenty minutes for a scant three ounces. I soon gave up. Good thing that, unlike my SIL, I never hesitated to haul one out and pop it into a hungry baby's mouth. The rest of the world can keep its (dirty-minded) opinions to itself, say I.

     
  • At Tuesday, August 23, 2005 11:09:00 pm, Blogger Mary P. said…

    Oh, and then there's my aunt, who found that whenever she, ah, achieved full satisfaction with her husband during this phase in her life, would squirt milky jets a good six or eight inches up. "He knew for a fact that I never faked it", she says.

     
  • At Tuesday, August 23, 2005 11:24:00 pm, Blogger Mary P. said…

    And a THIRD comment from Mary P. Honestly, who does she think she is? Self-absorbed cow...

    No, really, if you had an email listed on your profile I'd have used that and not cluttered up your blog in order to tell you that since you've made me laugh out loud at least three times in the ten minutes I've been perusing your blog, I've added you to my blogroll, too.

     
  • At Wednesday, August 24, 2005 11:00:00 am, Blogger craziequeen said…

    oh, Mary P - the blog owner isn't the only one interested in your ramblings! :-)

    I'm just as bad, and I *do* have their email addresses!

     
  • At Wednesday, August 24, 2005 11:02:00 am, Blogger Liz said…

    I was ne of the unfortunate ones that dried up by 8 weeks. At least
    i tried. I thought you could still give milk into milk banks if you had the adequate checks? Hmmm

     
  • At Friday, August 26, 2005 5:15:00 pm, Blogger Juggling Mother said…

    I've now checked this more thoroughly, & yes there are still 13 hospitals in the uk that operate milk banks after screening. the nearest to me is 150 miles away. Ho hum

     
  • At Thursday, January 26, 2006 10:32:00 pm, Blogger Vics said…

    LMAO Mrs A
    "Apperently I am a F****ing cow." had me literally cackling like a loon - the bloke jumped about 6ft in the air *grin*

    I think it's safe to say, the day I become pregnant I'll start stocking up on the breast pads, cheers for the heads up ;o>

     
  • At Sunday, February 05, 2006 3:50:00 am, Blogger debambam said…

    OMG I can so relate to this! Zoe was only about a week old when we went to the airport to pick my sister up. We are only 10 mins from airport, so I didn't bother with the breastpads, besides she'd just had a big feed...well an hour later - plane was late - Zoe starts crying, my boobs start tingling and with my sister just getting off the plane I thought, well i'll see if she wants more when we get home...nope, she won't have it and either will my boobs. We are walking through the airport with sister, luggage and nanny with Zoe when I noticed everyone looking at me, some little kids even laughing. you I look down to find I'M LEAKING EVERYWHERE...two big almost perfect circles on my normally flat chest...I NEVER left the house without them again..

     

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